6 Ways to Cope with Social Anxiety
If you’re feeling anxious about socialising as lockdown eases, you’re not alone. Here are six ways to make the transition a little less daunting.
After a year of zoom calls and social distancing, it’s understandable if you experience heightened anxiety as you attempt to re-socialise. Whether you’ve found yourself overthinking the things you said during a conversation, worrying about awkward silences or simply doubting your ability to hold a conversation, you’re not alone.
As you get back to seeing friends in real life, here are some tips for dealing with social anxiety:
Go at Your Own Pace
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to bounce back to the level of socialising you were at pre-pandemic. It’s okay to start slow and connect with people at a rate that feels comfortable for you. You might find in-person interactions very tiring at first so make sure you take care of your wellbeing and set aside some time each day for activities that help you relax so that you don’t become overwhelmed.
2. Don’t Avoid Social Situations
Social anxiety can cause us to develop ‘safety-seeking behaviours’, which are the coping behaviours we use to reduce fear when we feel anxious (e.g. avoiding social situations or leaving a party after a few minutes). These behaviours may reduce the feelings of anxiety in the short term, but they’re a quick fix that actually worsen the problem because they prevent you from learning that your feared expectations are either unlikely to actually happen or aren’t as bad as you think. Repeatedly facing the situations we fear helps build up confidence and actually reduces distress in the long-term.
3. Nobody Can Tell How You’re Feeling
Many people who worry in social situations are fearful that their anxiety is visible and that they will be judged. It’s important to remember that although anxiety may feel terrible, it usually doesn’t look as bad as it feels.
4. Ease the Pressure
Social interactions are a two-way street so try not to worry too much if there are silences. Everybody has a responsibility to keep the conversation going, not just you. And remember, social interactions are not a performance, they’re simply about being with other people.
5. Turn Your Attention Outwards
Anxiety turns your attention inwards, which can make the symptoms of anxiety worse. If you’re talking to someone, attend closely to what they are saying, rather than thinking about what to say next. If you’re at a group gathering, look around and notice what others are doing and saying, rather than scrutinising yourself.
6. Reframe Your Thoughts
When we feel anxious, it can be easy to fall into unhelpful thinking patterns where we catastrophise or try to predict the future. When you catch yourself doing this, try to reframe the thought and tell yourself a more helpful story. For example, if your thought is "People will see how anxious I am and they will judge me”, try reframing it to: "Just because I feel anxious, It doesn’t mean people will notice. Plus, even if people can tell I’m anxious, it doesn’t mean they will think badly of me”
